Cause the only thing cuter

Then a new baby, is a new baby with flowers on her head.

My poor Lara girl modeling some head bands mumma was making, (a couple were for friends so some of the bands had not been sewn to size yet.)

Ps a million times thank you for all the congratulations. Id missed blogging and sharing with people. I did sneak over o most of your blogs but part of me not feeling creative was not feeling like commenting cause it didnt seem to matter what i had to say to people, so it means a lot to get yours and know that a few people out there were still checking in.

Im not sure If anyone still reads here

but I made something pretty fantastic and just wanted to share.

Lara Paige was born on the 23rd of October still in her bag of waters ( apparently very lucky) and our hearts are full and happy.

Ps actually feel like creating again for the past couple of months so hopefully ill be back again soon!

Its been so very Long

And life has changed so very much. Reality is a lot different then it used to be. Life has wiped my ability to enjoy the things I used to do, I haven't scrapped or crafted in ages ( though I had a layout in the previous months SBM and I had 2 in the masters mag), I dont feel like baking, though I try and without these things in my life I just feel sort of lost. Im not sure how to fill my days without hobbies.

And while there have been moments of pure Joy ( , christmas, a new nephew, my mothers visit, Easter and my boys turning 2,6 and recently 12, ) they seem to get lost in an ocean of misery

I have surfed through and am on the tail end of a return to my anxiety disorder, which totally controlled my life for a while there. While it did also return depression for a bit — it was only very mild and not the huge soul breaking cloud I have been through before

My children have been sick more times then I can count — esp. in the last month.

My beautiful BIL has recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor, one the doctors say will kill him and this esp. is changing my life so many ways. My husbands heart is breaking each day — his families heart is breaking each day

And on the 26th of January my beautiful friend lost her baby — half an hour after it was born at 34 weeks on Australia day.

The same day I conceived my beautiful bean.

During all this craziness I have been given a gift that is helping me through,

A little girl ( well apparently, we will see if it stays the same at the next ultrasound)

Due in October.

Ps thanks for the emails — etc asking if all was well, Im so sorry I haven't replied, I just haven't had the words.

P.P.s I realise this is a very misery guts post and im sorry. I am having a dwelling morning.

Rusty says

Thanks for the love and well wishes. Im on the mend. Amazingly it looks like I will survive with no permanent damage.

Horrid day

No funny stuff around here today. its been down right horrid. Esp for this guy. He and another kid collided at school. its turninga nice yellow colour now, but that is the least of our worries. Our cat may not make it through the night, and if it does there is still a fair chance that she may have to be put down tomorrow morning.

If you have cat and a front loader washing machine - double and triple check first. ALWAYS, cause I can never take back the carelessness of today, and the pain I have put our Rusty through. Not to mention breaking the heart of that sweet boy above in finding her the way we did.

keep your fingers crossed for us.

Im going to share something

Something that may be shocking to some.

Ahem. I have a sweet tooth.

I know. You are all so shocked right. It may time to recover.

And lately I cant cope. There has been an abundance of christmas cook books and magazines floating around my house.

The rockstar has a slight addiction to cooking a christmas dinner. We go overboard every year and then always say we wont next year.

But we do anyway.

He does a baked ham, a rolled stuffed pork roast, a turkey and trimmings galore.

I get starters and desserts. Oh and my mums potato salad. Every year.

I love cooking mini things and sweets, well recently you learnt of my sweet tooth, so now it all makes sense.

This year there will be some sort of seafood ( prawns and oysters of some kind normally, and maybe a crab salad), and just what ever mini thing I come across I want to try, im thinking a sweet onion tart.

But then we get to the best bit of all,

Dessert

( I promise you the shock will wear off soon).

But here I where I need help. I have planned

• a marscarpone cake
• my vanilla and rockmelon icecream, ( maybe some green apple gelato for adults as well)
• fruit salad
• and.......................

This is where I am stuck, normally I insert cheesecake or pavlova here, but I want something else, the marscarpone cake is very like a jumbled up cheesecake. The inlaws norm bring a fruit cake/pudding, though this year I have it literally already covered and looking pretty, well minus one holly leaf that needs to be redone, thank you small child! (oh and ewwwwww!!), and I dont do triffle.

Im thinking pie, though I may be being swayed by the abundance of pie falling across the american sites. And it needs be able to be baked ahead. The evil husband has the oven covered.

I need suggestions. Please.

Ps I really hope that no one will feel any differntly about me now. Please I am still the person I once was.

PPS now I am really feeling the need for , well, truthfully, all of the above.